a loop im stuck in, can’t begin,
heart beats rapid, walls closing in,
every day is a déjà vu
same damn thing its nothing new
spinning room, iv lost my grip,
words slip through pale chapped lips,
am i awake, or is this a trip
im breaking down another sip
im stuck on repeat, what the fuck,
trapped in my head, shit outta luck,
same damn thoughts, the needle’s stuck,
im screaming out, but it sounds like UUGHH
fear of faces, that are now just ghosts,
brain is haunting, i hurt the most,
try to shake my mental headspace
cant escape stuck caution tape
what is real and whats in my mind?
fighting shadows that run and hide
static screaming its all too loud
how to breathe clear without this cloud
glued to the floor
i cannot move
grabbing more
with hands that disapprove
sinfilled room eyes on the ceiling
jacking off just to lay down dreaming
pealing off soaking clothes of liquor
snorting white lines of wallpaper
stuck on repeat, can’t seem to break
every sip just numbs the ache
blame old cycles, same mistakes
falling deeper down each step i take
pouring poison just to quiet my mind,
but i end up more lost, in time
maybe i should just end my life
im over it
10/19/
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