he doesn’t think youre worth the hardship
too many obstacles for one inconvenient
incompetent irrelevant unintelligent accident
youve been here before
with the same exact man
dont fucking stonewall
its not abandonment
he just couldn’t handle it
youre just stronger than him
you will be okay
lets get a move on already
you dont want to play
this cat and mouse game with him anyway
roll a dice for blame, pain, shame, and roll back again, today wasnt fun
you felt guilt, diminished, embarrassed, punished, demolished, banished…
that wasnt love
he also said a lot of unkind things,
you didnt hold him accountable
and you are kind of dumb
sitting silently screaming uncomfortable
already knowing the outcome
HOW EMBARRASSING
what the FUCK is wrong with YOU
why are you here
he wont change his mind
just a good thing to pipe
rewind like last time, denied
it was made up like last time
its okay
dont worry about him
he wasnt as understanding as youd want him to be anyway
he liked to yell
and hell youre good like fuack youre retardely good
he didnt even try to talk you out of the whole Emily thing you had to do it yourself
and look now because of him gratefully,
you have a therapist. hopefully next years time wont be as bad as this
he doesnt even deserve to hear whats on your mind lets be honest
lets say thank you
i think that would be healthy
nice okay now you can be done
see this is retarded why does he want me here
he just broke both our hearts
this
you just couldn’t leave yet,
surreal seeming under the blanket
spent how much on a different ticket
you know how to take it
yes leave his jacket
well now its okay to admit
youd like to hide in the closet
he couldn’t say he loved you
didn’t deem it healthy
he used the past tense of care
then proceeded to squeeze out air
wouldnt want to leave you two days before your birthday
itd be too much of a hassle to go and see you anyway
said none of this would of happened if you didn’t act bratty or roccos wasnt packing
guilt grows uncontrollably
it seems so easy for him
it doesnt take much for you to spin
out of control into devistation
dare dream decembers directon
temptation to move to his location
but you cant be his final destination
it will never matter.
you will never matter.
i will never matter.
im over it
10/11/2024
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