i dont want to share
is what she said one night to bestie
no more undercover ditz
just victimizing end of splits
critically damaging butterfly
selfish excuses over a guy
i tear myself up
only to think of, lost memories
now she only thinks about accessories
and him.. always him
fitting him into her schedule ALWAYS
never finding time for friends
unless he’s busy…
makes the mind go dizzy
i blow up, apologized face to face
i only see one grownup
i always say im sorry first
second claims ive had wrong doings
three words i repeat constantly
“im so sorry”
that im holding on for more inculpation
trying to bury inconsideration
trying to open up mindful awareness
she locked it away for selfishness
brings up past situations
as a way of manipulation
i feel guilty, always.
constant stormy head space
she feels attacked
when i feel the actual impact
inconsiderate im being
i need to start seeing
what its like on the other end
i should go about it better if i want to mend
the broken butterfly wing
who offends
who pretends
she depends on what?
im trying to say is theres no amends
i cant fix the broken wing
for it doesn’t want to be fixed
forever into the abyss of lost memories
buried like treasuries
i dont want to share
is what i will say to no-one
10/11/21
im over it.
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