ISSUE

i hate you a fucking waste to name you

just a shy short of value,

read black and blue bruise

from abuse

should have been labeled for misuse

because even i dont fucking care

the mirror looks at me with despair

its seen through jet black hair

painted pictures only meant to scare

when i sleep i see a repeat nightmare

deep in darkness everywhere

i reek incompetence beware, muted mouthless screams, when I wake from spider webbed sheets

ringing ears bleed,

drowning in disappear pleas,

tightening breathing but unaware

if i am choking on air,

warning mental warfare,

worried weeping increasing,

stuck sitting somewhere shaking

not aware if im coping, crying, grieving healing unleashing everything defeating cant keep begging for forgiveness when i see multiple faces in my mirror staring back helpless looking in a monsters mind

inside of a monster youll find    

convoluted distorted ideas

on the outside blind

but chained to paranoia

or tethered to drama

engrained in the DNA

DEPRIVED NEGLECTED ANIMAL

its also possible several couple special chemical imbalances therefore unstable

invisible voices stay slaughtering like knives

i keep inviting in parasites

so many so i can hardly recognize my own

creatures cornering constantly clone

they know i don’t like being alone

the made up there mind in my home

creating a cautionary zone

I put it upon myself and let them provoke

all the monsters eat at me mentally

didn’t read the terms and conditions correctly

I let them all live fucking rent free

and I know I did it to myself says so in section three since age twelve

i was never taught to let it go

just keep forgetting till its a never ending issue

forgiving and releasing isnt a breakthrough

childhood preview

deprived neglected animal abuse

painting myself as balloons

confined headspace with tiny dark rooms

monsters in each one that i refuse to let lose

because i keep them as an excuse to start issues…

im over it

10/01/24