i never thought id have a gun pointed at my head
was it the words i said
wrong and right out of spite
split moments of fight or flight
happened so fast my hands went white
while you denied 911 dialed
you spiraled, started cursing, cops called concerning, you stopped,
delight conversing,
said an accident no cause for concern
finally in the car left turn
still adjourn
desensitized to the words you used after
kept telling me i dont matter
im so flattered inside pure laughter my mother used the same grammar
rehearsed answers
attacking game gaslighter flame
im to blame yes
i feel pure shame yes
i put you through pain yes
im sorry im insane yes
four hours of straight stress
felt endless
couldnt drop you off youd go back home to end this
only had your brothers number
but i couldnt throw him in the mix
one already felt derelict
a bomb left with no detonator depicted
left to be unscripted or encrypted
two days later still inflicted
how do i escape with no trace of guilt laced in place a race to erase no case to face please dont chase
im not in the right head space for this
i already had one mental murderer
thought it ended when i heard you got under her
i needed time thought it was inferred
but your flame still simmered
screaming i whimpered
yelled things i hadnt considered
delivered nothing but a fatal reconsidered
triggered
im scared of him and flickered past thoughts of suicide came across
sickened with loss
cause and effect
more like cause to infect
disrespect, project, deflect, object, detect neglect except disconnect must protect my
intellect please respect i need time
im over it
1/27/24
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