shark out of water

tip of the tongue, wont leave my mind

wrapped in the thought like a vine

intertwined, i push and i pull

to moments of when i felt whole

his voice, deep and dark

bitten by a shark

everywhere chunks of red,

chewed and severed

now i feel dead

replaying it over and over

the ending doesnt make sense

but its been this way since

your expectations, disappearance

preformance gone to ignorance

my adolescence, ate illusions

cant jump a fence 10ft dimensions

face myself with a velvet revolver

season of the dumb adult i falter

get fucking over it.

i let you shatter my sense of self,

handed you the hammer and stood still,

watching as you chipped away

everything i thought i was.

i wanted so badly to believe

you wouldn’t swing,

that love wouldn’t hurt like this.

however, you didn’t hesitate.

each word, each excuse,

another crack running through me,

until i couldn’t recognize my own reflection.

have i always been this fragile?

or did you make me this way—

splintered, desperate, reaching for something

that only cut me deeper?

you walked away with pieces of me

you had no right to take.

now im left to pick up what’s left,

hands trembling, bleeding,

trying to rebuild what you destroyed.

still—fuck, how pathetic—

i miss you.

i miss the hands that ruined me,

the voice that lied and said i was enough,

the love that turned hollow when i needed it most.

i want to scream, to rage, to hate you

the way you left me to hate myself.

even my anger bends back toward me,

a boomerang of blame that hits harder each time.

gone.

and yet, still here,

lingering in the wreckage,

watching me try to find the person

i let you take away.

get over it.

fuck

11/23/2024